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Don’t Tell Me That I Should Have Children
A breakdown of why you should never offer unsolicited opinions on how anyone’s uterus should be employed
At an appointment with a new gynecologist, one month following my discharge from the hospital for a severe pelvic infection, a doctor assumed a somber stance.
“So,” he said, clasping his hands, “What are your plans? Do you want to have a family?”
I responded with a simple “No.”
The doctor’s eyes widened as he gasped and said “No?”
A young resident doctor who was assisting with the appointment turned to him, and then to me, saying “That’s okay, that’s okay”, opening her palms toward each of us, as though trying to convince us both.
“Well,” the doctor said, appearing a bit flustered, “You’ll probably have a lot of problems conceiving. The scarring of your fallopian tubes will probably make getting pregnant highly unlikely.”
I was unaffected by this revelation, as, like I had mentioned moments previously, I have no desire or plan to ever have children. My only real feeling about this news and the way that it was delivered was confusion. Why was he acting shocked and maybe even condemnatory in response to me stating that I did not want to have children when he was gearing up to tell me that I probably can’t anyway? What…
