Thoughts While Working In A Coffee Shop On Manhattan’s Upper West Side

“I wonder if this espresso machine mallet thing has ever been used as a murder weapon.”

“Conservative commentators drink oat milk?!”

“15 dollar avocado toast really is still just bread and avocado!”

“I wonder if anyone has made a steamed almond milk scented candle.”

“Why does this ten-year-old child know the difference between a cappuccino and a macchiato?”

“I wonder if this electric mixer thing has ever been used as a murder weapon.”

“Middle aged white women wearing yoga pants now thoroughly terrify me.”

“Can’t wait to interact with this guy wearing an ‘I Identify as Vaccinated’ t-shirt.”

“Anyone who orders an extra dry cappuccino must be a psychopath.”

“Anyone who puts garbage into a bin for dirty dishes must be a psychopath.”